Showing posts with label Story. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Story. Show all posts

Sunday, June 16, 2013

Funny Interactive Voice Response System (IVRS):

Interactive Voice Response System (IVRS):

Hello welcome to ABC Telecom.
For English press 1.
Thamilukku irandai amukkavum.

Hindi keliye theen press karo.

For mobile press 1.For broadband press 2.
For bill details press 1.For technical press 2.
For issues press 1.For clarification press 2.
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If you are still on line press 1.If you fainted press 2.If you are sleeping press 3.
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Happy Diwali!
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Happy new year!
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Congratulations, you are holding the line for an year now.If u wait for 364 more days u'll break world record.To continue press 1 else press 2.
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Thanks for contacting us.Pl take our survey.pl rate our speedy response.For fastest press 1, for faster press 2.
To goto main menu press 1, to goto mental hospital press 2.

Sunday, June 9, 2013

RED Planet Versus BLUE Planet

  VERSUS     







That loud sound woke me up. I checked my clock, which read 6/6/2779, 4.00AM. My first thought was that the rumors have become true. It could have been the Martian attack. I jumped and ran to a window. The horizon was under fire. A fire so bright and flaming, we can’t create even in computer graphics, something beyond human imagination.


Next was a sound of what seemed like one hundred thousand mosquitoes in chorus. I couldn’t bear it and ran for the sonic shield to protect ears from bleeding or getting mad. Few seconds before wearing the sonic shield I screamed out of pain. “To hell with war! These Martians were peaceful with universal citizens. Heard in the grapevine that the Martians became greedy once they came to know about infighting of the Earthians. They wanted to rule Earth, which our leaders didn’t agree and capturing or destroying Earth became their goal. With their technological advancement they can make a Yoyo of Earth and make us see the center of gravity by blowing out the northern hemisphere.  


There was silence for a while. Just when I thought of updating this in my favorite social network, by sending my thoughts after thinking of my UID and DNA code, the public hologram address system of the government was activated. It surely means a panic situation. I came to the hall to see the hologram projection of a government official. “We are under attack by Martians. We need you join us to defend Earth. You will be part of the world army. Your transport code is ihdnaG$#5^@#.


I went to the transmitter of the Teleporting System, soon I was at the Indian Army Headquarters. After a series of psychological, physiological tests a final list was selected to represent India in the world army. We wore the special suits given to us and boarded the Lightning Powered Jet which carried us to the international space station in seconds. My neighbor was asking “Will they serve Dosa?” I said “Don’t get caught by a Martian,you will become Chutni!”. Jokes apart I too was concerned about fighting the mighty Martians. A planet smaller than ours, but with people few times bigger and smarter than us. It would be difficult to beat them in one to one combat.  


I couldn’t take my personal robot for the war duty. People were so reliant on them for brushing, putting on clothes, sometimes feeding. 


There were rumors about Martians letting the POWs hang in the space to dissolve in the universe.  My only hope was the years of research on Weapons of Mass Destruction which were advanced, built to fight within our nations, put to ‘good’ use now. 


In the International space station, we floated to our commando training room. Enroute I saw an empty hall, but with noise of a crowd. Suddenly a voice from the stage shouted “… and that’s how you wear the invisible cloak”.


Commando training covered everything about Mars. They showed the map, key places like Olympus Mons (Biggest mountain of all the planets),Valles Marineris (a huge canyon), Borealis basin and few more. Videos of their weapons were shown (hacked and downloaded by our Chinese experts).  We were warned to wear anti Eraser shoes. Eraser is a Martian weapon which when pointed at humans can erase the body parts exposed to its Xenon light. The next video was shocking and chilled my spinal card, in which few Martians slashed the Eraser on an Earthian in the stomach and the stomach portion was gone fully and we could see a building on the other side through him. Not even a single drop of blood. The upper half, from chest to head floated above the foot to hip bottom half for few seconds and then both halves dropped to the Martian ground like two sand bags.


During lunch, I befriended a Japanese guy named Akira something. I got a samurai with me in our attempt to save the world, not mine or his world, but our world.  The threat of world piece, brought world peace, if not the world will become a peas. I thought whether I might age slowly if I get a chance to live in Mars, having 686 days year. The thought was interrupted when I recollected that 95% composition of Mars is Carbon di oxide. No one would like to live a life with closed nose.


Akira told about how the Martians used to convert Earthians as Martians. He said it was simple, take the Earthian’s mind, subject to a safe radiation to change it to a Martian mind and inject that mind into a Martian dead body. A French beard (guy might not be French) joined us and told about how once a Martian told the answers to our world’s top most I.Q test without seeing the questions. I was sure about one thing, nobody can beat the Earthians in the art of scaring. If not for the war I would be visiting my family virtually and eating my mothers’ real food at this time.

  
Our hand held weapons, though advanced, depended on fire power, probably because bullets might not help kill the rocky Martians. If we could convert all the bullet points from corporate world into actual bullets. “Hmmm…!” I thought, “We could win, only by a miracle!” One need to live to love or hate.


Heard the Martians launched cyber-attack also, through email which when opened exploded Argon bomb. Few other email attacks made the receivers lunatics or injected biological virus. Have heard of somebody suggesting pesticide for computer virus in the early computer age.


An alarm sounded and we all boarded our individual space cars. I prayed that there is enough fuel in my space car as there won’t be any filling station on the way. We could see enemy space vessels approaching Earth, thanks to a powerful micro telescope, capable of showing distant objects at cellular level.  The horizon fire I saw earlier was from those vessels. Even at 56 million kilometers distance, they could fire so precisely that they might miss in one in a googol chance.


We had a big air force combining the super powers with smartest fighters of our world. Martians had air bases in Phobos and Deimos, moons of Mars. From Deimos they might try a close range shot.


They started firing again. It started as a single spark of light in the space, which split into 100s of bursts each producing another 100s of bursts like a fractal image all directed towards Earth. As they approached Earth, a blue shield started circling the Earth, which I came to know later, was a layer of hydrogen coolant, in launch ready state to defend against Martian fire attack. The blue shield was broken in few places, which were fixed by writing on the coolant. The poor Martians didn’t know that Earthians had started writing on water centuries back.


Anti-radiation liquid was distributed to Earthians to neutralize any radiation by Martians to pollute (even more?!) Earth’s water resources.


A Martian attempt to suck Oxygen from the Earth’s atmosphere was beaten by our world army engineers. Martians could suck only CO2. There was an attempt to stop the earth’s rotation by most advanced magnets which could kill Earthians and all inhabitants of Earth by affecting the biological clock. An ‘alarming’ situation was averted.


We spoiled their attempt to enter Earth, through Genetically Modified seeds which when sown, produced Martians, not tomatoes. UNO alerted the world to stop buying cheap but great yield seeds which were penetrated by Martians through few Earthian spies who, for money, were ready to kill mother Earth to live like royal slave in Mars. The value of freedom will be known for such guys, only when it is not there.


Couple of IIT grads invented a mechanism to redirect sun’s light using powerful but small space lens, resembling what grandpas were wearing in 20th century. As the rays started beaming towards Mars what could possibly make the red planet redder, we got a message of peace from the king of Mars.


When everything was settled and the world came to normalcy (read infighting started), I resumed my duty as a school teacher. My colleague had a different story to tell that he befriended the king of Mars in inter(planet)net in the most popular site called Phasebook, with the user name of Marlyn Manroe, sending the 4D(4th Dimension a secret) holographic colorful model in  highest definition, asking him to come alone to a park in Jupiter, … blah blah … and the world army had him as hostage. He said the Mars king was so bulky that he could actually make only one step in any direction like a chess king. 


So that’s the story of the attack on Earth and the surrender of Mars. The world folklore had the story of how enmity with Mars started when Curiosity killed the cat, a real Martian cat centuries back.

              

Friday, March 9, 2012

Science fiction - Soan papdi cart

Years later, I went to the terrace at late night. I feel it is a mistake today. It happened one night in 2010. Everyone in the house were sleeping. The angel called Sleep did not embrace  me. Went to the terrace to feel the breeze and enjoy the stars. I like the silence of the night and its color. Suddenly the weather changed and I felt chillness. An object resembling a Soan papdi cart was coming down the sky. Before I blinked the cart sat on the terrace in no time.
 
Have heard of flying saucer but I was  surprised to see one in front of me. I was sure that I was not sleeping and so it was not a dream. If an alien came down from that saucer, I would have gone home jumping over the steps, sleep in bed, get up next day morning and tell others about the nightmare. Aliens are no more aliens because of so many Hollywood movies. 

 It was a man who stepped from the saucer. A big man, so big he was double the size of Arnold. He got off the saucer. The saucer vanished within flick of a second. An Use and Throw saucer? Big man turned to my side and came towards me. He introduced himself and shook my hand with a solid grip. 

From what he said I came to understand that he is from the future. They are advanced in science than us. Even normal people are like our Einstein. Their youngsters used to have running race for fun and anybody who come last will be sent to the past in  time machine."Then how will...how will you go back?" I asked with a concern. "Wherever we get down in time,   choose someone there and shake hand, I'll be go forward to our time in twenty minutes." "Very happy". "Whatever I am going to say next, you may not like. Whoever I shake hand with, will go back in time, the same period I go forward. I shook your hand! If time permits, will meet again! "
 
He was taken away in a Soan papdi cart in lightning speed. Before I was able to recover from the shock I too was taken in a Soan papdi cart.When I came back to my senses, I was in a garden. I saw many marble stones being taken to a nearby site. It was very easy to figure out that the Taj Mahal was under construction and half finished. WOW. It was beautiful even at that stage. Thanks to my knowledge of history. I will have to impress the king Shah Jahan with our Taj hotel,Taj tea etc., and take his help to be back in your time. 
 
I wrote my story using a quill, so that anyone reading this will post it in his blog and alert the people.

Saturday, April 30, 2011

My Extra Sensory Perception experiences

Wiki says the definition of ESP as, "Extra sensory perception involves reception of information not gained through the recognized physical senses but sensed with the mind".Never mind. 
Even during school days I got interested in things related to mind and beyond mind like ESP, Telepathy,Out of body experiences, Astral projection and so on. 
  My first experiment with Telepathy failed miserably though my school buddy was waiting in his home at the planned time to send/receive the signals. I forgot about this experiment and went to sleep. The experiment came back to my sense only when my friend asked about that the next day. "Did you think any thing at 8'o clock yesterday?" "What thinking and why 8'o clock?". We are still friends. 
  During college days, I started feeling I have some extra sense. (No, it is not non sense, as you just thought) One class mate, he had it as a habit to come to my room before the semester practical exams and ask me what experiment he would get. I used to connect the thumb,index and middle fingers and touch the space between the eye brows and say some experiment. (later came to know that space is called Ajna chakra in kundalini yoga) We were in the same batch.The next day, he used to show 'that' experiment and thank me. 
  No, don't assume I write the next year's diary in the current year itself. I didn't develop that sense to that grand manner. 
  Once I predicted the 7 actions that would be performed by a room mate after entering our room, returning from native. He performed those 7 actions perfectly as predicted to the surprise of another room mate who couldn't control his emotions and shouted when all of them came true. The 7 actions are as follows. telling to us "what guys studying,study.. study.",.keeping the suitcase in a particular corner (it was not its usual place), taking the mat from its place and spreading near us, going to the shelf, taking a poems book(sithar paadalgal),sitting on the mat, reading few lines from the book ( the exact lines were read, even to my surprise). 
   On another occasion, bought the Tamil magazine 'vikatan', on way to home from office. At home, took the book to read. Even before opening the book, took a paper and doodled a picture. To my shocking surprise, the page I opened in vikatan had the same picture. Madhan's QA page had a picture of a cave painting which had the same pattern as that of my doodle.  
  Once, I was narrating my ESP experiences in the terrace of a relative, who was listening to that without interest. I could sense that from his facial expressions. I started singing a song sung by Ilayaraja and stopped with first stanza. Suddenly a loud speaker from a near by temple, came live and played the same song. Now my relative's face had shock which he couldn't hide and my face had a cryptic smile. 
  The highlight of these experiences was when I saved myself from the impact of an accident. When I got a job in Chennai, I went to college to resign. I had to return to Chennai that evening. Had a feeling in the afternoon that the bus I would take to Chennai would meet with an accident. It was not a thought, it was a feeling or sense, so strong that I couldn't ignore it.I boarded the bus in Madurai, selected the middle row and aisle seat. Window seat is my passion from child hood. I avoided purposefully on that day. The bus stopped at Ulundurpet. I got down and had tea. 
  The bus started again and going in terrific speed. When I saw the windshield, the speed at  which the trees were going back at the sides of windshield was alarming. I closed my eyes and tried to sleep. Took a look around and found most of the fellow passengers asleep. I couldn't sleep. Started thinking a new film story. The idea was about the meeting of 7 look alike persons from different parts of the world.(Later Dasavatharam had 10 persons) An African,a white man,a sardarji etc. Wanted to have actor Nasser do the role who will suit any getup perfectly. My story building stopped when the bus hit the lorry parked in the left side of the road. Since I was awake, I formed an X with hands and blocked the front seat to avoid myself hitting it. The immediate thought I had was "Ninachenda..." in Tamil which means "I thought...'. I found persons sitting in the front seats, window seats and even last row had wounds because of the impact of the hit. For many years, I was avoiding the bus travel. Preferred to stand in train all the way if seat was not available.

That's all about my ESP experiences. And...I know... right now you are reading this line. :)

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

A Cricket fan's love story

A Cricket fan's love story

It might sound silly to you or you might bounce with joy after reading this. I loved a girl who studied with me and married her. No. We didn't cut classes and drive straight to theaters. Our interests matched and she was my maiden love. She hit my eye balls when I saw her in the first day of first year. It seemed that this wide spinning earth stopped for a moment. Couldn't sleep at night at that period and I was awake like a nightwatchman. My eyes turned red like Google e. If love is fishing, the fisherman get caught in the hook for the catch. I felt I was floating above the ground and pulled by her magnetic field. When love starts poems follow on.I decided that she was my match.
One day I declared my love to her in low pitch. She accepted without batting an eye lid. The wait was over. Our love started growing without any boundary.After the tests in the final year,   we went  back to our homes after saying bye. Six years had passed.
You throw a ball and it is retrieved by your pet dog.Thoughts about her came back like that.
Heard from her that her marriage was fixed with a New yorker. I couldn't keep quiet.My mind got tossed in full sweep. It made me run here and there. I appealed to her father who was about to retire and  uncovered everything about our love. His father gave green signal at last and we had a clean sweep.
We loved in the last century and married in this century.
She has gone to her mother's house for delivery.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

A funny story - A hotel server gets selected in an IT interview by mistake

A hotel server attends an interview in an IT company by mistake. However he gets selected.
Let us see how it happened. (This was written in the year 1996)

I: What kind of server you have used?
C: Server? I'm a dedicated server.
I: Good. What is your user interface?
C: I don't get you,Sir! 
I: I mean, what do you show to your customer?
C: Menu,Sir!
I: Do you know Cobol?
C: Gopal is my friend,Sir!
I: Oh, you know Cobol as you know your friend. Fine. 
Do you have knowledge of hardware?
C: I used to accompany my boss to the hardware store
     Some of  my friends are making chips

I: Thats great. Tell about SunWindows and Apple
C: Because of Sun, we need windows. Most of our customers like apples
I:  Next 2 questions will test your sense of humour.
C: OK, Sir!
I: Your password is going to expire, what will you do?
C: Expire? I will cry,Sir!
I: That's good. What is the difference between  Microsoft excel and Surf excel. 
C: Microsoft excel is for spreadsheet. Surf excel is for bed sheet. 
I: Its funny.Pl. elaborate on Order entry system.
C:Customers place orders. The items are prepared and delivered to the customers. 
I: Where exactly the items are placed? 
C: The items are placed on the tables. In one row, there will be  many tables. 
I: I think that's a slip of tongue. In one table, there will be many rows. 
Do you have experience in Hotel management system?
C: I have 5 years experience, Sir. 
I: Thats cool. You are appointed.